Sunday, May 20, 2012




DAUGHTER OF MY HEART

Nearly 25 years ago I lay in a hospital bed cradling my newborn son. I admired his stubby pink fingers and chubby little toes. I stroked his head and looked deep into his eyes. What did his future hold? What lay ahead?  In walked a friend. He offered condolences.  He was under the delusion that my deep desire had been that this child, my precious son, be a daughter. I cried when he left, though not over sorrow for a son. Jonny was perfect in my eyes, and exactly who I wanted.  My heart was full beyond measure. I wanted my friend to share my joy. I wanted to hear,  “Wow! Another son! You’re so blessed!”  
However, little did I then know that a daughter would come some day, because of this son of mine. Though not yet a twinkle in her parents’ eyes, she was in God’s mind. Debuting on a December morning 2 1/2 years later, she made her trio of siblings a quartet and captured the hearts of all, so I’m told.  Now I’m getting the daughter my friend thought I’d missed out on, and this time, she is exactly and perfectly my desire, this Daughter of my Heart.
Jonny, my son!  Once upon a time I was the woman in his heart. I was the one he awoke to, the one he laughed with and cried for, the one he ran to, the one he teased and told secrets to and hugged and clung to, the one he fell asleep to, nestled to my heart. Sweet times those were, treasured memories, cherished forever.
Smitten from the start with this son of mine, I vowed  forever to love, honor, and respect him, as a mother for her son,  as long as my life should last. With a mother’s heart, I dreamed of his tomorrows even as I loved his today. More than anything in the world, I wanted him know love--to love well, and to be loved.
One day on a playground, next to a swing, he eyed her. He toddled over as fast as his chubby legs could take him, and slobbered a wet kiss on her soft cheek. Startled, she crawled away as he watched in wonder (her name was Mindy!). Times were changing,  and my heart smiled.
All lay dormant for awhile, after this venture into the ways of women. Too busy with other loves-- climbing trees and jumping puddles, catching salamanders and chasing frogs, giving cats a bath and riding tricycles and bicycles, making mischief with brothers and making friends with new pals--Zech across the field and Kris across town, his life was much too full to notice much else.
Then SHE walked by in the crowded Junior High hall. Furtive glances and laughter and an occasional brush of the hand, he strode to and from classes with “her” by his side. He shyly told me, with awe in his voice, and perhaps a little fear.  What will Daddy say? Who will we tell?  Times were changing (for a couple of weeks, at least). My heart smiled.
I barely blinked and high school arrived. A flurry of new friends and frolicking fun. “Mom, I met this girl. She’s really nice.”  “Mom, she likes me.” “Mom, I like her.” I met her, and her, and her. I met them, all.  First Sally and then Susie and next Alice (names changed to protect the innocent). All nice girls. All fleeting fancy. Times were changing, and my heart smiled.
Then one day--I call it M-Day -- “Mom, there’s this girl.....her name’s Meilani!”  I answer,  “Jonny, tell me about her. She sounds pretty special.” And tell he did, (and he’s never stopped talking). A man with passion and purpose, he set his eyes on the gold. Times were changing. And my heart smiled.
Soon after, I met the girl of his dreams, Meilani. This dark-haired beauty, full of mystery and intrigue, quietly began burrowing her way into MY heart. Although only 14, she was a woman who knew her own mind. Kind and caring, funny and faithful, sweet and smart, loving and loyal, she became the woman of my dreams for Jonny (I sometimes call her My-Lani, so attached I am to her!). What day did it begin? When did I know? I don’t. Though I have many sweet memories of watching the budding love of two teenagers mature into the beauty that is theirs today, it is as though they have always been together, meant for each other.  Perhaps it began when Lee and I held our newborn son in our arms, and I think it probably began when Meilani’s Mom and Dad--Steve and Colette--held a precious newborn in their arms--  “Their-Lani” --and cradled and cuddled her to their hearts, dreaming the dreams parents dream for their child, nurturing and nestling and praying with all their hearts that life would smile on their beloved daughter and that she would know love all the days of her life...those days that seem like yesterday and forever wrapped in one. 
Dreams do come true. Prayers are answered. Still, we dream. Still, we pray. Always, forever, for you, Our-Lani and Our-Jonny.  
Times are changing, and our hearts smile.  




Written for Bridal Shower 5/19/2012
Meilani and Jonny will marry on July 14!

2 comments:

  1. Seriously special words, Mama. You are such an inspiring role model. Thank you so much for being who you are and continually reminding me of what it looks like to live an intentional, god driven life, full of purpose.

    I love you dearly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful words, Mom.

    Love you dearly too :)

    ReplyDelete